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| ah....
school really rocks. I don't think I've ever been this happy in my entire life and I just wish I could share it with everyone.
come visit me if you are ever in DC, we can have guests over night and I'm walking distance from the white house and all the monuments (^_^ that's where we go walking at night, it's so cool...). hehe...I live on Pennsylvania Ave, just up the street from deh President. | | |
| I'm itchy.
two new pairs of shoes in the past two days.
one for who I wanted to be, these past four years.
one for who I (probably hope) I will become, the next four years.
prom: x-nay. spending all that time and money for 8 hours of fun. eh.
high school sucked, like prom'll be any better (especially after last
year's sorta bit the dust).
senior week: *please God, fix this. can't I end this craptastic part of my life on a good note??*
it's cold, now that the sun has gone down. but it'll be warm when it comes back up again and the new day begins.
alas. thinking of the Jesus-brb icons makes everything better. ^_^
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| OH MY GOD! Akito is a woman and Shigure is in love with he/she/it.
...*tear*...but I love shigure...that perverted
dark-haired-kimono-wearing-hot man. he's mine....waaaah....oh
well. goes to show my luck with guys.
okay, on to the important things. This is the deal with the timeshare.
we couldn't just trade our week to senior week so we'd have to pay.
It'll cost $1350 for the week (friday to friday) for a place that'll
sleep 8 people. that's about $165 per person. personally, I think that
isn't too bad. but, knowing my friends, money is one thing that is a
bit of a barrier.
the issue is, we have to decided within the next 8 days. my dad put a
deposit on the place so it wouldn't get booked, but if we don't decide
by then, then the deposit can't be refunded. needless to say, I'm going
to be making a few phonecalls on monday (unfortunatly I would tomorrow,
but you wierd christian types celebrate easter tomorrow...*sigh*).
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| the other day I was looking at our cherry tree. the buds are these tiny
tiny tiny little pointy things, but I know they're there. suddenly it
hit me, maybe since this winter has been so exposively bad for me, that
means the spring/summer will be explosively good! anyway. I hope so. I
hope summer doesn't fail me too.
I am super exhausted, after trying to pull everything together since I
was in bed for 2 days. sigh, I failed on the account of finishing my
Misentity cover design, but it probably wouldn't have been chosen
anyway. and I hate Mr. Wilson, so it all goes together.
driver's ed sucks, but I'm thinking I can bribe myself into going with
food. it's going to be forever before I'll get my license, but
whatever. I've got to try and salvage what I can of my teen life.
in other news, the german trip is off, so I'm planning on going to
otakon. I'm definately taking the light rail down every day, but
thinking it might be nice to stay overnight just one night. we'll see.
it all depends on me getting a job this summer (which will definately
happen, but I'm still not sure if my parents will let me spend me own
money for stuff like that. I dunno).
items on my list of things I'm hoping to pay for with summer job money:
prom (ticket)
prom (limo)
prom (accessories and/or dress/shoes)
senior week (if the timeshare works out, this'll just be for groceries and other fun stuff)
otakon (admission)
otakon (food)
otakon (finally being able to buy whatever I want including otakon t-shirt, Gackt CD or book *yum*)
cell phone (maybe. I'm thinking virgin mobile, pay as you go, that way I can use it at college too)
items on my list of things I'm hoping to avoid spending summer job money on:
things I need for college next year
movies (but it's only $5! oh the agony...but I can get into regal for free...I forgot...hehehe)
clothing/shoes (I'm a shopping addict, really)
fabric/notions to make EGL clothing (which I will probably never wear)
food (I'm a friggin black hole when it comes to food)
bleh. anyway. I should just focus on getting said job now. there's a
job fair coming up in april, but me mum says that mama maria's is
hiring. don't know how I feel about working there, but at least it's
close to home. and it isn't a franchise.
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| today is March 21, 2005. In the Baha'i calendar, today is known as Naw
Ruz, the new year. happy new year y'all. it's funny, you see, because
when I was little, Naw Ruz was basically the equivalent of Christmas. I
looked forward to it because it meant so many happy things, presents,
family, food, being together, having fun because we were together and
that was all we needed. Maybe it was because I was so young. I don't
know. My point is, is that I feel wierd because it's like no big deal
to me. It's sort of like how I stopped caring about my birthday
to the point where nooone even knows when it is (sept 1, btw 'cause
I'll probably never bring it up again) but to some people their
birthday is still 'cause for big celebration. to me, eh, it's another
day. whatever. (this is probably partially due to the fact that it is
also my mother's birthday. ironically, when I turned sweet 16, me mum
turned 50. ugh. also because I really don't get any presents or do
anything special or usually even get to see my friends on my birthday.
so being excited about turning one year older never did me any good.)
but this is naw ruz. and I want it to still be special. especially with
me leaving next year. especially with my oldest sister out on the west
coast starting her own family. especially with how generally sucky
everything has been lately. but no. I'm home sick from school (God, it
hurts really bad, I don't want to move it hurts so much...pain pain
ow....) got the flu or something. so it's not like I can spring up and
be like.'hey! let's decorate! hey! let's go out and celebrate!' I'm
trying to keep myself in one piece, you know, trying to get better n
whatnot.
anyway.
aside from that. last week I meant to post something on the subject of
forensics finals. like, how I can't believe it's over, congrats to
those who placed, curses to those who placed instead of me ( I didn't
even make 3rd and I haven't look at my papets yet 'cause I'm so pissed
about it), lamenting over those I'll miss (not-gay student boyfriend
Jeff and Chris the crippled mexican), and finally ranting about the
topic of my mixed-race status and the confusion it leaves in me
concerning the way other people treat me. I'm so confused. These black
dudes at forensics keep hitting on me. Like seriously. they seriously
find me attractive. and it's like...omg. light bulb. please don't tell
me that the reason that none of the guys at my school seem to care for
my looks is because I'm 'black'?! but at the same time, don't tell me
that the reason those guys were hitting on me was because to them I'm
'white' and therefore desireable. OMG!!! I just want to go somewhere
where people don't see color! that way, for once, I'll know if I really
am beautiful, for my looks and also for who I am! everyone is biased in
one way or another, so how can I ever really know? and what does it
matter anyway? shouldn't I be able to be confident being myself...blah
blah blah...the honest truth is that if I was secure about myself and
did have enough respect for myself I wouldn't be asking these questions
and I would've gotten over myself a long time ago.
it's going to be a long road.
phew. ANYWAY! In other news:
my dad said that he would try and get our timeshare for senior week.
I'm sorry I didn't tell everyone about it sooner as an option, but I
didn't want to talk to y'all about it until after I'd talked to my
parents. It's a nice place we go there every winter, sleeps 6: 2 twin
beds 1 queen (maybe it's a king...) bed and a sofa bed that can fit 2.
there's a full kitchen w/dishes, 2bathrooms (both have showers) and
there's a washer/dryer. This place we usually get has an indoor
swimming pool too. anyway. if that goes through, then we have an
alternative to the camping, which, yes laura, there are some holes in
that plan, but I still think it would be workable.
okay. I think I covered everything. I'm going to go eat something and then collapse. Happy Naw Ruz, everyone!
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